As I mentioned in lieu of a comic on Tuesday, the computer on which I do all my photoshopping has crapped out, leaving me without a readily available way to shade, color, or even scan a comic. But I couldn’t pass up the chance to make a Deadpool comic, so you get one with just lines, no value, hand-written text, which I essentially just photographed with my hand-me-down phone and messed with the color on, but which has far above my usual level of gratuitous violence to make up for that.

Yes, my Deadpool Ersatz is a heavy-set young woman. But anyone who knows about Deadpool will tell you this is hardly a stretch as far as alternate versions of Deadpool go. I didn’t really conceive of her character as a version of Deadpool, but as I was reviewing my roster of planned characters, I realized she was close enough to work for this. She’s snarky, and has an impressive healing factor (which actually stems from her ability to convert one type of bodily cell into another, allowing her to turn her plentiful body fat into super-dense muscle), and she’s one of the wackier characters I’ve come up with.

Everybody enjoy Deadpool this weekend. Me, I’ll be seeing it on Sunday because I’m a pathetic loser who can’t get a date and this movie and the free admit slip I got from when I saw a fire-alarm interrupted Jurassic World is my consolation prize from the Universe.

Vote for Kong Tower, and share this on your various social medias, and maybe this comic’ll get popular enough that ladies will flock to me! That could totally happen, right? Right guys?